Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall
While re-creating and re-inventing yourself, you will always, inevitably, encounter resistance and opposition. Do not let such resistance and opposition discourage you.
Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, when facing resistance and opposition, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.
We all encounter opposition and resistance. We all have to live with a perpetual armor around ourselves to defend against the intrusive actions of whoever it may be, friends, rivals, even member of our own families. Unless you come out with a successful defensive strategy, constantly butting up against resistance and opposition will cost you a lot of energy. Realize and understand this this about people: They all have weaknesses, some part of their psychological armor that will not resist, that will bend to your will if you find it and push it. In planning your assault against resistances, keep these principles in mind:
No mortal can keep a secret
No mortal can keep a secret from you. Pay attention to gestures and unconscious signals. If a person’s lips are silent, if the person chatters with his or her fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him or her at every pore. The weakness of a person is always revealed by seemingly unimportant gestures and passing words.
This is a critical concept in the search for a person’s weakness. The key is not only what you look for but where and how you look. Everyday conversation supplies with the richest mine of possible weaknesses, so train yourself to listen to what is being said.
Start by always seem interested, the appearance of a sympathetic hear will spur anyone to talk. Appear to open up to the other person, to share a secret with them. This will usually elicit a frank and genuine response that reveals a weakness. If you suspect that someone has a particular soft spot, probe for it indirectly. If you sense that a person has a need to be loved, openly flatter that person. If the person laps up your compliment, you are on the right track. Train your eye for details, how someone tips a waiter, what delights a person, the hidden messages in his or her clothing. Find people’s idol, the things they worship and will do anything to get, perhaps you can supply them with their fantasies. How wonderful would that be!
Remember: Since we all try to hide our weaknesses, there is little to be learned from our conscious behavior. What oozes out in little things outside our conscious control is what you want to know.
Most weaknesses begin in childhood
Find the helpless child inside everyone. Most weaknesses begin in childhood, before the self builds up compensatory defenses. Whatever the indulgence or childhood deficiency may be, as he or she grows older, the indulgence or the deficiency may be buried but never disappears. Knowing about someone’s childhood need gives you a powerful key to that person’s weakness. One sign of this weakness is that when you touch on it the person will often act like a child. Be on the lookout, then, for any behavior that should have been outgrown.
If the person, either your rival or enemy, went without something important, such as parental support, supply it or its facsimile. If they reveal a secret taste, a hidden indulgence, indulge it. Whatever the case, that person will no longer be able to resist you.
An overt trait often conceals its opposite
People who hump their chests are often big cowards; a prudish exterior may hide a lascivious soul; the uptight are often screaming for adventure; the shy are dying for attention. An overt trait often conceals its opposite, look for contrasts. By probing behind appearances, you will often find people’s weaknesses in the opposite of the qualities they reveal publicly.
It is not what but who that matters
Most than often, it is not what but who that matters. When encountering resistance and opposition, find the weak link. In today’s world, there is often someone behind the scenes who has a great deal of power, a tremendous influence over the person on top. These behind the scenes power brokers are the group’s weak link: Win their favor and you indirectly influence the person making the decisions. Alternatively, even in a group of people acting with the appearance of one will, there is always a weak link in the chain. Find this one person that will bend under pressure.
Insecurity and unhappiness are voids to be filled
For everyone and anyone, the two main emotional voids to fill are insecurity and unhappiness. Fill these voids. The insecure will always go for any kind of social validation. As for the unhappy, look for the roots of their unhappiness and, filling that void, help them find happiness. The insecure and the unhappy are the people least able to disguise their weaknesses. The ability and opportunity to fill their emotional voids are great sources of power as well as indefinitely prolong able ones.
An uncontrollable emotion can result in a paranoid fear
The uncontrollable emotion can result in a paranoid fear, a fear disproportionate to the situation or any other bas motive such as lust, greed, vanity or hatred. Don’t be afraid to feed on uncontrollable emotions. People in the grip of these emotions often cannot control themselves, and you can do the controlling for them.
So, what are we saying?
In re-creating and re-inventing yourself, there is no strategic move more important and gratifying than discovering your enemy’s weaknesses and applying pressure to them.
Remember: When facing resistance, find the weak link. The person in control is often someone behind the scenes. This person may have more weaknesses than the person in power, because the source of his or her power often depends on all kinds of capricious factors outside his or her control.
When dealing with such helpless children who cannot make decisions, play on their weakness and push them into action, into bold ventures. They will have to depend on you even more, for you will become the adult figure whom they rely on to get them out of scrapes and to safety.
In re-creating and re-inventing yourself, have an eagle eye for other people’s weaknesses. See them in the smallest gesture. When searching for followers, always look for the dissatisfied, the unhappy, the insecure. Such people are riddled with weaknesses and have needs that you can fill. Their neediness is the groove in which you place your thumbnail and turn them at will.
When meeting new people, always look for passions and obsessions that cannot be controlled. The stronger the passion, the more vulnerable the person. Look at the part of a person that is most visible, their greed, their lust, their intense fear. These are emotions they cannot conceal, and over which they have the least control. And what people cannot control, you can control for them.
For many, what make them tick is their desire to feel important. Intensely insecure, about their lower-class background, most of them need validation and confirmation. Such need for validation and recognition, such need to feel important, is the best kind of weakness to exploit. First, it is almost universal; second, exploiting it so very easy. All you have to do is to find ways to make people feel better about their taste, their social standing, their intelligence. And, the best part of it, you can do this again and again for years; you are filling a positive role, giving them what they cannot get on their own.
Timidity is another potent weakness to exploit. Timid souls often yearn to be the opposite of what they are showing in public. Yet, they lack the inner strength to do it, to show their real self. You can become their hero by simply pushing them into bold actions that serve your needs while also making them dependent on you.
Whatever you do, while playing on people’s weaknesses, just make sure to always keep this in mind: Playing on people’s weaknesses has one significant danger, you may stir up an action you cannot control.
When re-inventing yourself, you always look several steps ahead and plan accordingly. You also exploit the fact that other people are more emotional than you are and less capable of such foresight. But when you play on their vulnerabilities, the areas over which they have least control, there is always that possibility where you can trigger and unleash emotions that will upset your plans. Push timid person into bold action and they may go too far; answer their need for attention or recognition and they may need more than you want to give them. The helpless, childish element you are playing on can turn against you.
The more emotional the weakness, the greater the potential of danger. Know the limits of this strategy to personal empowerment, then, and never get carried away by the control you exert over your puppets. You are after empowerment, not the thrill of control.
Owner of Bunkumless.com and King Global Earth and Environmental Sciences Corporation, JMD, a former attorney, is a Columnist for The Futurist Daily News and editor of the Social and Political Blog JMDlive.com Follow JMD @ jmdlive