“People always know when they meet someone who does.”
Having your Life Together is everything about building and protecting your reputation.
Having Your Life Together is: always seem to be level-headed about all the nonsense that most people conflate into huge crises, being functional and competent, making your bed and sleeping in it, doing what you have to do and, most importantly, always seem to be level-headed about all the nonsense that most people conflate into huge crises.
People that have their Life Together make their bed, sleep in it, do what they have to do and always seem to be level-headed about all the nonsense that most people conflate into huge crises. No matter what your personal goals are, you just want to have your Life, to have you Shit Together.
Here is how to do it:
- Have a “Signature” Style
Decide what you love and wear it often. Either have a signature scent, accessory, or color scheme that sets you apart. Make sure your style matches your personality and be consistent. People respond well to consistency.
- Never Exhibit Weaknesses
Stop talking about it being a hot mess every chance you can. There is a huge, difference between being authentic and capitalizing on your struggles to earn by complaining every hour of the day. Just keep it real without overemphasizing what you are not that great at.
- Stop Oversharing
Not every single person online and in your personal life needs to know every single detail about your life. They do not even want to know. If you feel truly moved to share your struggle in some part of your life hoping it will be therapeutic and help another person going through it do it. But if you are just constantly telling people way more information than is appropriate to share, it is time to stop.
- Keep Things and Everything Clean
People who have their Life Together have one really simple thing in common: they are always clean. They clean themselves, their spaces, and their belongings. They take care of themselves, their spaces, and their belongings. Keeping your life a little more tidy and organized will go a really long way.
- Always Assume What You Say in Private Is Actually Public
Do not say anything in private you would not like to see repeated in public.
We are all dealing with the “One Person Phenomenon”. Every single time you share a secret or important information with someone, this is a certitude, that someone will tell his or her one person. Ultimately, at the end of the day, what you tell one person is what you tell everyone. Do not say anything in private you would not like to see repeated in public.
- Minimize Drama
Do not be someone who creates drama and issues. Be someone who solves problems and innovates with new ideas. Instead of creating more chaos around a disagreement or issue, create solutions.
- Talk About Things, Not Other People
Other people and their lives are not topics of conversation. This is a lazy way to forge connection with others. Being a gossiper does not good look. It makes you seem vindictive and judgmental.
- Be Clear About Who You Are and What You Do
For people to respect you, they first have to understand you.
For people to respect you, they first have to understand you. That begins with your language and approach to explaining yourself, both online and in person. Have a single sentence explanation that adequately sums up what you do professionally and then another that sums up what you are interested in personally.
- Do not Act Like an Authority When You are Not
Everybody is convince to own “The Truth”. All people want is to be confirmed in their opinion.
We do one another a disservice by insisting on answering immediately and impulsively in conversations and arguments. Instead, think about what you want to say and, if you have nothing to say, calmly express that you have not done enough research or do not have enough expertise to speak on it with authority, but you would like to share your opinion or viewpoint. The point is to be willing to share opinions with others, not to convince others about what is absolute fact. Everybody is convince to own The Truth. You are losing your time trying to convince them otherwise. All people want is to be confirmed in their opinion.
- Keep Your Composure
Be that one person in the room who can always speak clearly and calmly.
Anger is only adding gasoline is to fire when there is friction between people. It raises people’s defenses and pushes a resolution farther away. Be that one person in the room who can always speak clearly and calmly.
- Stop Complaining
Complaining is not venting. Venting is what you do when you need to get something off your chest. If you have to vent every single time you see someone, there is something wrong. You are just in the habit of complaining, and you need to get out of it.
- Have Principles
Principles are the rules and guidelines you use to govern and manage your life. If you value relationships, prioritize them by principle. If you want to improve your self-care, do it by principle. If you succumb to your impulses all the time, you will end up a shell of the person you are meant to be.
- Receive Help When You Need Help
Behaving as though you can do absolutely everything yourself limits you.
Behaving as though you can do absolutely everything yourself limits you. When you need help, you need help. Ask for it, receive it, and understand that it does not make you less dignified.
- But Remember You are Responsible for You
You are ultimately responsible for whatever experience of life you are now living.
You are ultimately responsible for whatever experience of life you want to have. You are responsible for your electric bill, for how well you keep up with current events, for how you interact with others, for how well you do at work, and for how much you sleep. You have to take an active role in your life, not a passive one. Do not think and act like life is just happening to you and you have to accept it. Start taking creative control.
- Compliment Others
Your relationships with others are reflections of your greatest relationship: the one you have with yourself.
Your willingness to uplift others is a sign of real confidence. People who are not happy with themselves cannot be happy with others. And there is even more benefit to you because the more you are willing to affirm and love others, the more you are going to see yourself with more love and appreciation. Remember, your relationships with others are reflections of your greatest relationship, the one you have with yourself.
- Organize Your Paperwork, Clean Your Linens, and Know How to Cook At Least One Meal
Absolutely no one is beyond this.
- Be Aware of Your Finances
If you do not want to be the person who questions whether their card will be declined somewhere, make sure you are checking on your accounts before you actually go out and spend money.
- Know Your Limits
If you wait until you have passed your limits, you are going to burn out.
Feed yourself when you are hungry; rest when you are tired; know how to gracefully bow out of a social situation, relationship, house party or job when you need to. If you wait until you have passed your limits, you are going to burn out and burn bridges at the same time.
- Stop Thinking Everyone’s Thinking About You, They’re Not!
The first step to being self-aware is recognizing that other people’s thoughts do not revolve around you.
In the age of social media, it is easy to become victim to “The Spotlight Complex”, the idea that everyone is thinking about you and evaluating your life decisions. They are not.The reality is that everyone is thinking about themselves all the time, in the same way that you are thinking about yourself all the time. The first step to being self-aware is recognizing that other people’s thoughts do not revolve around you.
- Keep It Simple
Getting Your Shit Together is a matter of faking it until you make it.
People who are able to simplify their lives come across as sophisticated. People who complicate their lives do not. People who have their Life together are able to live simply, to enjoy simple things, to show up as they are, and to sort through issues with clarity.
Most importantly, remember that the point of getting your Shit Together is to make your life easier and more enjoyable, not to impress anyone else. But like most anything else, getting your Life together is a matter of faking it until you make it, and this is the best place to start.
Michel Ouellette JMD, ll.l., ll.m.
Systemic Strategic Planning, Crisis & Reputation Management
JMD SYSTEMICS, a division of King Global Earth and Environmental Sciences Corporation
Systemic Strategic Planning / Crisis & Reputation Management
Michel Ouellette / Joseph Michael Dennis, is a Former Attorney, a Trial Scientist, a Crisis & Reputation Management Expert, a Public Affairs & Corporate Communications Specialist, a Warrior for Common Sense and Free Speech.